This weekend has seemed extra long, which is lovely. I've had the chance to have some really wonderful conversations with some of my dear friends and I'm going to attempt to synthesize them into a blog.
God speaks to me in universals. I often wonder, and I'm often asked by my agnostic friends, why I choose to take the leap of faith required to be a Christ follower, in spite of all my questions (many of which I share with these particular friends). It's a good question. What keeps me putting one foot in front of the other when God seems to be silent, when the Bible doesn't make sense, when it seems I'm all alone? In short, why do I believe in God?
This seems like a simple question, but it's hard to answer without sounding foolish or wishy washy. Here is my attempt at an answer:
I believe in God because His story, through Jesus, answers all of my most primal, deep-rooted questions about life, the ones I need answers to. His story speaks to my experience of this life and the world around me. No matter where you look, you see people who need to be loved. Everyone needs it, everyone wants it, everyone strives for it. This may play out in very different ways; it may look as though a person is striving for success more than they are striving for love, but every urge we have in us can be traced back to our most basic need to be loved. I am a doubter by nature, someone who questions things until only a shred of the original thing is left. There is not much certainty (at least right now) in my life. But this is something I'm sure of. The proof is in the pudding because deep down everyone knows this is true: we all want to be loved. To put a new twist on an old cheesy saying, "There's a love shaped hole in my heart" and only God can fill it.
One of my favorite quotes of all time is CS Lewis' statement that, "If I find in myself a desire which no experience in this world can satisfy, the most probable explanation is that I was made for another world." Over the years, as I've followed Jesus, I've gotten a lot of confirmation along the way that the road I'm walking is leading to somewhere good. I go through seasons with more confirmation than others but in the end, it all boils down to a leap of faith. A strong hope. As someone who likes answers, who likes things set in stone, who likes seeing where I'm going before I start walking, a strong hope doesn't sound so promising. But isn't that all we can do? We keep putting one foot in front of the other, we take our cues from the multitudes who have gone before us, saints both known and unknown, and we hope.
I have in me a desire for love that is not and cannot be met by anyone or anything in this world.
1 John 4:8 "...God is love"
2 Corinthians 1:20 "For all the promises of God find their 'yes' in Him..."
What can I do but hope that these things are true?
Romans 5:5
" and hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts, by the Holy Spirit whom He has given us."
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