Monday, November 14, 2011

Half-hearted prayers answered wholly

Specifically answered prayers are big victories for me. I love Jesus but sometimes I feel as if I'm walking the path He's laid out for me on my own. I wander through life and ask Holy Spirit for help with big decisions, guidance, assurance, etc, but rarely do I have those moments of solid, beautiful realization. The moments where God is so close that every part of my body and Being responds accordingly. The moments when the hairs on my arm stand up on end, tears fall freely from my eyes and I feel full to overflowing.

This morning I prayed that I would be even more smitten with Jesus. I've gotten into the bad habit of assuming my prayers will not be answered...or at least not in the way I want them to be answered. I wake up in the morning with half-hearted words already on my lips. They are half-hearted not because my whole heart does not ache for their fulfillment, but because only half of my heart holds out hope that they will. God is mysterious and despite my lack of faith, I prefer Him that way.

But today my prayer was answered in the simplest of ways. As I was sending off emails and dealing with the mundane details of my life, a song came on Pandora that I had almost forgotten about. I was immediately bowled over again at the joy found in these words. Listen to it and let your heart be overwhelmed with the beauty of the God who created us.

Thy mercy, my God, is the theme of my song,
The joy of my heart. and the boast of my tongue;
Thy free grace alone, from the first to the last
Hath won my affections, and bound my soul fast. 
Without Thy sweet mercy I could not live here;
Sin would reduce me to utter despair;
But, through Thy free goodness, my spirits revive,
And He that first made me still keeps me alive. 
Thy mercy is more than a match for my heart,
Which wonders to feel its own hardness depart;
Dissolved by Thy goodness, I fall to the ground,
And weep to the praise of the mercy I’ve found. 
Great Father of mercies, Thy goodness I own,
And the covenant love of Thy crucified Son;
All praise to the Spirit, Whose whisper divine
Seals mercy, and pardon, and righteousness mine

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